Just hold on we're going home...

I know I know! It's been like a week since I've posted which is really bad.

I mean I was home so I was rarely near a computer, I was going out every night and spending time with people. I got back to Santa Cruz on Sunday and then worked for the next couple of days and then hung out with more amazeballs people that I missed. I was in my own little world with them. To be honest, I'm really happy, which is new for me if you didn't know. You guys who have been reading for a while know that when post something personal on this it's a big deal, and it's usually about problems in my life. But this time it's not so be happy that I'm happy.

Anyway enough with the excuses. I have also missed you amazeballs peeps so I thought I would have a little chat with you before my first class as a senior which is really scary to think about but I kinda stoked on it.

My sissy bear turned 28 this past Saturday and I already miss that lady. I spent the whole day with her and our bam fam and also Veronica since we were lucky enough to still have her in town. And I also spent the night at her house which was super fun. We were in one of my favorite places ever, Pasadena, and we just had a grand old time. Smiles.

I'll update you more on the past week or so when I get more time. Wish me luck on my first day!

Also you will get the rest of the Fashion Week stuffs soon too.

xox

Listening to: Hold On We're Going Home - Drake

VINTAGE BATHING SUIT - BOLO VINTAGE

F21 TROUSERS

JEFFREY CAMPBELL COLTRANE BOOT

HAT - H&M

THRIFTED PURSE

BODY CHAIN - EBAY

VINTAGE CHANEL BELT

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I see right through you...

I might just talk today since I haven't done that in a while. Maybe I'll put some pictures up from Memorial Day weekend. We'll see how I'm feeling by the end of this.

First off, happy June to all. I posted a total of three times last month which is not good. Only one of the posts was an Inspiration Wednesday too, so I feel bad about neglecting that. I'm almost done with school this year, only a couple weeks until I go home, so I'm counting the days. And I will definitely post a lot more this summer. Smiles.

This past weekend was somewhat enjoyable. I got to spend a lot of time with my family and friends which is always good. We all went to the fiesta, ate yummy food, and had a grand old time. I even had time for some retail therapy and bought some stuff. Maybe you guys will see them in a outfit post pretty soon.

So that was nice. If you follow me on Twitter or Tumblr, you may already know how I'm feeling up here in Santa Cruz. Some stuff happened a couple days ago over the weekend, and it's literally exhausting me. I'm just annoyed and tired of it all, every day I'm just kinda bummed out and all I want to do is eat food and watch Netflix in the comfort of my room. I don't usually tell people why I'm feeling a certain way, but that's my cross to bear I guess. Also, the having to go to school part of all this just puts another damper on what I want to do. But I guess that's life. You think it's going a certain way and then it becomes a crap festival, and everyone only cares about their problems. So yeah that's basically how I'm feeling right now.

This whole week has just been really weird. That Monday off of school kinda threw me off too. I want to go home so badly and hang out with my sister who is basically the only person I can count on. I love that lady.

But enough of me pooping on your party. I'll reward you beautiful people for getting through me talking my face off and complaining. Here are some captures of my weekend with lovely people.

EMBROIDERED DENIM SHIRT - SANTA CRUZ FLEA MARKET/ AMERICAN APPAREL CROP TOP AND DISCO PANTS/ STUDDED CONVERSE - DIY/ VINTAGE DOONEY BAG

Sorry if this was super long and annoying. Just wanted to put some stuff out there. Maybe I should start making rant videos on Youtube. Anyway, I'll see you soon. Hopefully I'll be in a better mood. All I can say is thank God it's Friday. Maybe I'll have a date night with my girl Veronica. We deserve it.
Love you all.

Listening to: Quite Nice People - Ida Maria

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Standing on my own two feet...

Just another day at school.

I wore this outfit to class yesterday. This was before it started raining hard as balls. It was a very good break from the all the black I have to wear for the show. And it was just a comfortable outfit to wear. But I apologize for my weirdness in the pictures. I had no idea I was going to put this outfit in a post.

So over the past couple of days, I have been in a little funk with life here in Santa Cruz. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love it here. But I need a break. I not only want to go home, I NEED to go home. Even for a little bit. I am going banana sandwich here. I can't wait for the sister and bester to visit me here. And I abso-freaking-lutely can't wait to go home for Thanksgiving. I know I said that in the last post, but I can't say it enough.

But enough of the pity party.

As promised, here are more things from the Christmas Lust List, which always makes me smile.

1. Ray-Ban Classic Clubmaster Sunglasses Black

I have always wanted a pair like this. Always. Because everyone knows that they will never go out of style ever.

2. Adam Levine (Just kidding.) Who The Fuck Is Mick Jagger shirt mens M

This shirt is kinda legendary. Originally worn by Keith Richards and now sexy Adam Levine in his "Moves Like Jagger" video. I want.

3. Sage Cross-Front Maxi Skirt in taupe by BB Dakota on Threadsence

I have a new love for weird-looking maxi skirts. This one is lovely.

4. Colorsplash 35mm camera in Chrome

This camera is amazing. I've seen the pictures it takes because Rosee Rose has one and it's just fun times. I feel like I have too many cameras but frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. Smiles.

THRIFTED CARDIGAN AND BOOTS/ VINTAGE BLOUSE, BACKPACK AND RINGS/ F21 JEANS/ NYX LIPSTICK IN ULYSSES

PHOTOS COURTESY OF VERONICA SHEPP

Listening to: Turning Tables - Adele

Twitter/Bloglovin'

And we're coming to town...

I'm feeling a little different. I'm finally going out tonight with some friends, even if it's just for boba. A lot of people in my life have left for school already and yes I know it's just for school but I'm feeling just a little bit lonely. I still have a little less than a month until I go back to Santa Cruz. That's feeling like a long time to me. But I thought about it, and I decided to spend as much time with the friends that are still here before I go back to school. Crisis handled.

So anyway when I was cleaning up today, I looked on Twitter and saw that the new promo for the third season of Glee came out today, which features the cast being pelted by dodgeballs. That's one video I saw of them today. The second was their promo for Fashion's Night Out on Sept. 8th in which the cast (missing the lovely Naya Rivera) looked absolutely gorgeous. It made me really happy that Chord Overstreet was still in the video even though he won't be a regular on the show anymore. The man is gorgeous. I couldn't decide which of the guys looked the most yum - Darren Criss in all red? Mark Salling strutting around in his aviators? Chord Overstreet and Cory Monteith in their sexy suits? Can't decide. What I did decide is that I want Lea Michele's super glam sequin dresses. Oh and the fact that they covered Sir David Bowie made me extremely happy.



Speaking of the beautiful cast, two of their lovely ladies are cover girls for magazines of the month of September. Love them.

Absolutely can't wait for season three Sept. 20th. Smiles.

Listening to: Fashion - David Bowie

For you, I am blinded...

I'm going to just talk about some things. I haven't done that in a while.

After Harry Potter ended, I went into somewhat of a depression, but not really. I was kind of lethargic and slept in my Snape shirt for five nights in a row. I didn't dress up really for anything I did. And I hated being at home. I want to go back to Santa Cruz like now even though I don't want to, at the same time. I don't know.

This past week has been pretty rough. I got some news on Monday that kind of shook my family up and I won't bring up any details but I have to say, I am always surprised at how the human mind works. No one can learn how it works, it's just impossible. I swear. But anyway, I've had to deal with the news on my own since no one understands my side of it except for my sister. I don't understand it myself.

Everything you do in life is a decision. Decisions that you make can be absolutely terrible or they can be incredibly right. Some decisions can either turn out good or bad. The one that was made on Monday is one of those decisions. It is one that still has hope, in my opinion. It's horrible right now, but later on, I hope it will feel better and be better for all of us.

I feel like I should make a decision like this in my own situation. The sucky thing is, I can't make decisions for the life of me. It's really hard. I don't know how to go about doing it.

That's one of my many problems.

Thankfully, I have things to calm me down, or distract me, if you will. I've decided to start making feather earrings and sell them for a profit. Something I love doing and making money while I'm doing it. I'm only selling to friends right now but hopefully the business will take off.

Today I'm getting a much needed break from life. Megan is taking me rollerskating tonight and I'm excited to try it for the first time. Wish me luck.

I am also excited for some In-N-Out tonight. Smiles.

By the way, sorry that this post didn't make any sense whatsoever.

Listening to: Everything We Had - The Academy Is...

It's a bad dream...

Life can change in a matter of moments.

The past couple days have been pretty rough. But it's always rough when people in your life are suddenly not. I have to let go but I can't just yet. Being away from home at a time like this isn't really ideal at the moment but I have my Santa Cruz peeps to cheer me up. Or try to cheer me up. Even the weird summer in February weather isn't cheering me up. I'm missing it more as every day passes by, the way things were. I just have to get used to it.
It's really hard expressing delicate feelings on a blog like this and I don't want to bum people out by doing it. I guess I'll stop here.

On the bright side, some cheering up happened yesterday. Shawn surprised me with a little drive to Davenport Beach a little ways from Santa Cruz. It was beautiful. But even though I had a great time running around taking pictures with Shawn, all I kept thinking about was who could have shared the view with me. We drove back to campus, not before taking a trip to get jalapeno cheese bread. That cheered me up. Food is always good.

Listening to: A Bad Dream - Keane

Take a bite of my heart tonight...

I find that when you're down, your friends are there to rescue you.

So I was having a really bad day last week or something and bester Rosee Rose saw me outside my house and parked her car to say hi. We ended up picking up the girlies Phyl and Clarissa and jetting off to Old Town Pasadena for some adventures and some yummy Johnny Rockets. I love being spontaneous.

Overall, it was a grand time. I'm glad Rose brought her camera. And I'm also glad she's in the pictures we took. Smiles.

COTTON ON TEE/ CALVIN KLEIN SHORTS/ VINTAGE DOONEY & BOURKE BAG/ STEVE MADDEN BROGUES

Listening to: Animal - Neon Trees

I believe...

Today has been an odd day. So I am going to do something I don't usually do on this.
I am going to just write what I'm feeling.
That is a first.
Because I never tell anybody what I'm feeling, which is a little bit of a bad thing.

So first, I'm feeling nervous about what's to come. That means the party I'm supposed to be the highlight of, the play that I am the lead in, my grades in school, and the spring musical. I am also nervous about the big things like, if I get accepted to college, what college I will be going to, my career, what I'm planning to do with my life, who I'm going to be with for the rest of my life, the people I will meet, where I'll be living, and what the rest of my life holds ahead of me.

I feel disappointed in people. You think you know someone, especially since you've known each other for about five or six years. He helped me with my relationships, my family problems, practically everything and it seems that all of that doesn't matter because we don't talk anymore. I have been replaced. I lost one of my best friends. It's pretty unfortunate, really.
He is still invited to my party but it's clear he doesn't want to go. He was even a rose for the rose and candle ceremony, where eighteen of my closest make a speech about me. I am very sad that he no longer wants to be a part of my life in that way.

I seem to question a lot of things right now. What does life really mean? Will I just be one of those people that follow a schedule? Will my entire life be a schedule? Are people just going to keep telling me what to do? Take this class, be there at this time, buy this, don't do that. I don't want to be that person. I want to die knowing that I have lived my life to the fullest. Someone important to me taught me that very recently and I think I should listen to him. I think I'm questioning all of this because I have been listening to the Spring Awakening soundtrack.

I'm really excited. Especially because Christmas is in a few days. I'm also excited for my birthday party even though I'm going to be put on display for everyone to see. But I'm glad it's happening because I want people to see the real me. People from different parts of my life are going to be in one place and see how I am with everyone I love. I'm excited to see the fall play which shouldn't be called the fall play since it's in January. I have to cry in the show. That is really hard for me to do because I'm more comfortable doing comedy than drama. My sister is the one that excels in drama. I'm also just excited for the rest of my life. I want to see the world. I want to have an adventure and be happy. Is that too much to ask?

Hmm. I really want a burger right now.

Take me away...

My life is really confusing right now, I'll admit it.

It's confusing in every way- parents, school, friends, guys, just life. I don't know what to do about it because it's never been this bad before. Lately, I've been feeling really distant to everything. That's probably my body telling me that it needs some Victoria time away from everything. I wish it was easy for me to just put everything down and take a break. But unfortunately, nothing is that simple.

When things aren't going well in my life, I try to look for things that do make me happy.

What makes me happy:
-my loud family
-friends who make me laugh
-singing when no one is home
-dancing in my room like an idiot
-the rush of performing onstage
-watching Glee
-drama on Gossip Girl
-shopping when I have money to spend
-baking anything from brownies to lasagna
-people with good fashion sense
-finding inspiration

And I did find inspiration today. I found an Alice in Wonderland themed photo shoot that was featured in Vogue a couple of years ago. The best designers in the world each made an Alice look and they are all incredibly beautiful.
At least Alice was able to run away from everything.

Tom Ford

John Galliano

Olivier Theyskens (Rochas)

Karl Lagerfeld

Viktor & Rolf

Photo shoot by Annie Leibovitz

I wonder if you know yourself at all...

So I have no voice. One of the many problems in my life right now. However, I will not turn this into one of those depressing blogs that nobody wants to read.

But it is very hard to be a loud person when no sound comes out.

Oh I also don't enjoy being at home at the moment.
And my best friend doesn't have a phone.
But Thanksgiving break is a week and I am stuck here.

Thankfully photofunia exists.