This is my winter song...

Merry two days after Christmas!

I hope everyone had a safe and amazing Christmas because I know I did.

First, on Christmas Eve, I had this great late dinner with the family before we opened presents at midnight. It's our tradition.
My family is the best. They know me, therefore giving me exactly what I was hoping for. It was great.

The next day, I saw one of my loves Robert Downey Jr. being all hot and British in Sherlock Holmes. That man can seriously do anything. I could not decide when he looked the handsomest. It was baffling. However, that movie reminded me of the reason why I am in love with British men and RDJ. Love.

I mean look at him. It was bowler hats galore.



You are the one...

After a very long hard search of finding the perfect dress for my 18th birthday, I have FINALLY found it.
I thought it would never happen, but it did. And I am eternally grateful.
I won't post a picture because it will ruin the surprise. But this dress is like no other.
It is a perfect mix of two of the Emma Watson dresses I posted. I am so glad she grew up to be this high fashion inspiration goddess.

Another awesome thing, I booked my caterer for the cake. It's this place that's basically down my street and also around the corner from the Monrovian Restaurant where the party is going to be.

I drew a sketch of the cake and everything. I got inspiration from these.

Today was a very productive day. I'm very happy.


I believe...

Today has been an odd day. So I am going to do something I don't usually do on this.
I am going to just write what I'm feeling.
That is a first.
Because I never tell anybody what I'm feeling, which is a little bit of a bad thing.

So first, I'm feeling nervous about what's to come. That means the party I'm supposed to be the highlight of, the play that I am the lead in, my grades in school, and the spring musical. I am also nervous about the big things like, if I get accepted to college, what college I will be going to, my career, what I'm planning to do with my life, who I'm going to be with for the rest of my life, the people I will meet, where I'll be living, and what the rest of my life holds ahead of me.

I feel disappointed in people. You think you know someone, especially since you've known each other for about five or six years. He helped me with my relationships, my family problems, practically everything and it seems that all of that doesn't matter because we don't talk anymore. I have been replaced. I lost one of my best friends. It's pretty unfortunate, really.
He is still invited to my party but it's clear he doesn't want to go. He was even a rose for the rose and candle ceremony, where eighteen of my closest make a speech about me. I am very sad that he no longer wants to be a part of my life in that way.

I seem to question a lot of things right now. What does life really mean? Will I just be one of those people that follow a schedule? Will my entire life be a schedule? Are people just going to keep telling me what to do? Take this class, be there at this time, buy this, don't do that. I don't want to be that person. I want to die knowing that I have lived my life to the fullest. Someone important to me taught me that very recently and I think I should listen to him. I think I'm questioning all of this because I have been listening to the Spring Awakening soundtrack.

I'm really excited. Especially because Christmas is in a few days. I'm also excited for my birthday party even though I'm going to be put on display for everyone to see. But I'm glad it's happening because I want people to see the real me. People from different parts of my life are going to be in one place and see how I am with everyone I love. I'm excited to see the fall play which shouldn't be called the fall play since it's in January. I have to cry in the show. That is really hard for me to do because I'm more comfortable doing comedy than drama. My sister is the one that excels in drama. I'm also just excited for the rest of my life. I want to see the world. I want to have an adventure and be happy. Is that too much to ask?

Hmm. I really want a burger right now.


Take me away...

My life is really confusing right now, I'll admit it.
It's confusing in every way- parents, school, friends, guys, just life. I don't know what to do about it because it's never been this bad before. Lately, I've been feeling really distant to everything. That's probably my body telling me that it needs some Victoria time away from everything. I wish it was easy for me to just put everything down and take a break. But unfortunately, nothing is that simple.

When things aren't going well in my life, I try to look for things that do make me happy.

What makes me happy:
-my loud family
-friends who make me laugh
-singing when no one is home
-dancing in my room like an idiot
-the rush of performing onstage
-watching Glee
-drama on Gossip Girl
-shopping when I have money to spend
-baking anything from brownies to lasagna
-people with good fashion sense
-finding inspiration

And I did find inspiration today. I found an Alice in Wonderland themed photo shoot that was featured in Vogue a couple of years ago. The best designers in the world each made an Alice look and they are all incredibly beautiful.
At least Alice was able to run away from everything.

Tom Ford

John Galliano

Olivier Theyskens (Rochas)

Karl Lagerfeld

Viktor & Rolf

Photo shoot by Annie Leibovitz


And I'm falling for you...

You may or may not know this, but I have this huge 18th birthday party coming up in January with a hundred of my closest family and friends coming to see me. Only one more month before it all happens. As every day passes me by, my blood pressure gets higher and higher.

I have a guest list and I sent invitations already.
I have a location for it and the food and everything is all set for that.
However, I will be going naked to this event because I have yet to find the perfect dress with which to move into adulthood.

But I have some ideas. And it turns out, all of my ideas turn me to Emma Watson.

Especially this Burberry number.


Go on and take a bow...

As you can see, another thing I am obsessed with is this wonderful thing called GLEE.

There isn't one show on the air that promotes song and dance in high school than this one here. I am so happy it exists.

I am also falling in love with bad boy in the show Noah Puckerman, played by hottie Mark Salling. I just have to say this guy does not get enough singing time. I mean first of all, he is an amazing singer, and second, he is incredibly attractive.
Not hard to look at, at all.
At all.

Check out this behind the scenes video of his photo shoot for his own band Jericho:

Mark Salling from GLEE photo shoot from Toky Photography on Vimeo.

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